In this episode, CEO of CS Thrive, Kirsten Franklin, talks about mindset.
Today, Kirsten talks about what mindset is, why we should care about it, and how it affects our outcomes, results, and everyday life. How can we leverage mindset to change the results of things we don’t like in our lives? How can we change our core beliefs?
Hear about Kirsten’s four questions, her stopwatch strategy, and get her advice on how to manifest as a conduit, all on today’s episode of The Healthy, Wealthy & Smart Podcast.
More about Kirsten Franklin
Kirsten is a world-class rapid transformation coach who has helped change the lives of over 1000 individuals. She is the brains behind the unique MVP method that is responsible for helping her clients rapidly transform their Mindset, raise their Vibrations, and modify their Processes, so they can achieve their dream lives.
She helps people overcome fears, adversities and traumas while improving their clarity, focus, performance, communication, relationships and thinking, so they can fulfill their ambitions. Many of her clients are seen as being highly successful and seek her out to help them define and achieve their next-level.
She has spent over sixteen years studying mindset, positive psychology, behavioral science and neuroscience and she is a master of techniques such as Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), Strategic Intervention (SI), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Coaching (CBT), Timeline Therapy, Mindset, Mindfulness, Meditation and more.
Kirsten received her Juris Doctorate from St. John’s University School of Law in 2001. Now retired, she owns multiple companies and is the CEO of CS Thrive, a coaching and consulting company that helps executives, founders, small business owners and athletes become unfu*kwithable in their business and lives. In free time, she is the host of the podcast Girl on Fire; writes for “Mind-Flux,” a publication she created on Medium.com; writes fiction and non-fiction books, and hosts live events. She has been featured in Thrive Global, NBC, CBS, and Fox.
Mindset, Mindfulness, Fears, Psychology, Behaviour, Therapy, Awareness, Manifest, Conduit, Abundance, Action, Reality, Subconscious, Liberty, Results, Outcomes, Positivity,
To learn more, follow Kirsten at:
Facebook: Kirsten Franklin
LinkedIn: Kirsten Franklin
Subscribe to Healthy, Wealthy & Smart:
Read the Full Transcript:
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey, Kiersten. Welcome to the podcast. I'm so excited to have you on. So thanks for joining me today. Thanks Karen. It's great to be here. It's nice to see you again. I know, just so everyone knows I was on Kirsten's podcast a couple of weeks ago, and we will talk all about that podcast and where people can find it a little bit later, so you have to wait to get the good stuff. But in the meantime today, we are going to talk about mindset. So I feel like mindset can mean a lot of things. So what is it really? Yeah, so that's a great question because it's one of those words like coach or like this, or like that, that we hear all over the place and for me in the way that I use it. So it was actually originally coined by Carol Dweck and she was talking about eight thought process, like being fixed or growth mindset, meaning you believe that you were given a certain sort of limitation and that's the highest you can go and that's fixed.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Right? And that no matter what you do, you'll never going to go and surpass that level of ability. And growth is one where you feel as though, you know, you have the ability to change it, right? You can, you can go beyond the quote limitations. There are no limitations. And the way that it's sort of been more used frequently is in discussing the subconscious mind. And that's something she references back to because that's actually where all the magic happens. And you know, the way I use it is really talking about that subconscious language. It's about the core beliefs that you hold about yourself. It's almost like the rule of law that you have decided is true for you and you're going to live by it no matter what, Hey, even though you don't really know, you kind of created those laws. So it gets a little tricky in that people understand the difference between conscious and subconscious, but as you talk to them, they really believe many times that they know what they're thinking.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
And the funny thing is is you don't until you catch it and you really kind of latch on and you're like, oh, why did I say that that way? Right? And, and you kind of have to dig into it, but you can, you can understand your deepest core beliefs by the language. And actually just take a look around you. Is there something in your life that you don't like, or maybe you're kind of feeling attracted towards or repelling against, then there's something out of alignment in those core beliefs, because whatever you believe is what you're going to see in your reality. And so when we use the term mindset, is that dependent upon our core beliefs? You know, or is this, I mean, obviously mindset is something we can change, but if people say, oh, well I have these core beliefs and they're not going to change.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
So then how can the mindset change? Does that make sense? Yes. And actually there's a perfect example. So a lot of times I like to ask for questions when somebody is in a certain emotional pattern, right? Let's say, oh my God, I have anxiety. I can't drive over bridges. Right? Like, or, or whatever it is. So I'll ask four questions and I ask the first question, like, could you let that feeling in like, are you willing to just feel it? Because if you're not willing to let it in and you're constantly pushing it away, well, you can't get rid of it because you're, you're, you're not willing to work with it. Right. The second question I'll ask is, do you believe it's even humanly possible for you to eliminate the feeling of anxiety? Could it ever just go away? Right. And these are just yes or no questions.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
And if the answer, yeah, I think I could get rid of it. Like that's totally possible for me. Right. The next question I would ask is, would you let it go? Are you willing to let it go? Okay. And again, it's a yes or no. The reason I ask these questions is a yes or no fashion is at any point when you say no, no, I'm not willing to let it in. Then you can't let it go. No, I don't believe, I don't believe it's possible that I could just eliminate it then. Guess what? You will not eliminate it. Right? No, I don't. I, you know, I'm not really willing to let it go. Okay. Well then, you know, you're going to keep it for some reason, right. Or if you say yes, all the men in the last one says, okay, well, when, when are you going to let it go tomorrow?
Speaker 1 (04:15):
Okay. There's a reason why you're not today. Right? So, so the thing about what you had just said is that whatever you believe is going to be true. So if you believe it's not possible, it's not going to, it's not going to, it's not going to be possible for you. Right. And so, so it's a, it's a, it's a tricky little thing, you know? And so how can we, how can we change our beliefs? How does that work? That's a, that's a long process and a short one. So you can actually just change them. That's the fastest way to change them is to literally just change them. What is it that you wish you believe? What is it that you hoped you live? How is it that you would hope things would be, and then just believe them? And it's actually that simple. Now I know a lot of us thinking like, yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Okay. You're funny. I, I that's. I'm like, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Right. But I want you to think of the moment. There has to be a moment in your life where you're so off. So fed up, so done with something that it was done. You're never going to take that, do that, see that, feel that again, and you walked out on it. Like it typically happens in relationships. I'm never going to have that. You don't, you're done, never happened again. Right. Because you're done because whoever you were that got yourself into that situation, you were done with it and you were not willing to accept it and you won't ever accept it again. Right. Whether it's like somebody who speaks to you in a certain way or does something or whatever, or even the way the grocery bag of groceries, you know, bags of groceries.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
You're like, yo, you like it. You know, it's just done. That's the same thing in our head. Sometimes we can just be so over something that we're done with it. And it changes right there in an instant. Right. and then more typically it's we think a lot about how we wish it could be how we wish it should be, should be as a, as a dangerous one for me, because it's a comparative thing. Oh, I should be here, but I'm not, oh, like, I shouldn't be married, but I'm not, oh, this should be this way. And that starts a spiral of depression because your life doesn't look the way you want it to, then it's no good and it's all wrong. And then it comes down. And as you know, when we have these stressors and emotional things, they come out physically. Now you have neck pain.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Now you, now you get headaches. Now, all of a sudden, your knees hurt. Right. If it's not a physiological difference, then it's typically coming from an emotional space it's coming from inside. Right. So how do we change them? I mean, look, I'm going to be totally honest. You can like, go, am I allowed to swear? I'm going to try not to sweat. You could like Google this stuff. Okay. Like there are affirmations, there's hypnosis. There's, self-hypnosis, there's positive cycles. There are a million different ways. And I don't believe in one size fits. All right. So I could lay down some techniques right now. And you know, a third of y'all will get it, do it, try it. It'll work. A third of you will be like, yeah, I'm not even bothering. And a third of you will try it and it's not going to work.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
Right. But even that is in your head. So if you are someone who doesn't believe that talking things out helps anything. Then if my method is talking things out, then it's not going to work for you. So that's the power of our brain. Let me tell you how powerful our brain is. I was just having this conversation. So, you know, I was talking to somebody and there's a blind spot. So meaning your eye, witness identification, all stuff, all bad. Why? Because we interpret things so differently and we can create blind spots. So you ever had that moment where you're like, oh, can you get me that book on the shelf? Right. And the person's like, I don't feel like getting you up, but you're standing right next to the shelf. Just grab it to me and give it to me. Okay, fine. What's the book it's not here.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Right. And all the fighting goes back and forth. You finally get up from your seat. You walk over to the shelf right in front of the space is the book he or she literally couldn't see it because somewhere the command was given no book. You don't have to get it. You don't want to get it. It's not there. This is stupid stuff. Right. And so it literally happened. And so it's kind of crazy. Like, I can't tell you all the science behind it because we're studying it every day. In fact, you and I, before this, this packets were just talking about how they figured out. They think the, the place in your brain that lights up when you're deciding whether something is going to get stored in your subconscious mind. Now that's a really interesting place to play because I mean the magic that we can make happen right there, who knows.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Right. But you know, it's, it's many different techniques to change it. You know affirmation again, you can Google that, you know, but it's really important because what you deeply believe will always play itself out for you. So I always tell people, take a look around your life. If there are areas or places that you are just simply unhappy, you really need to dig into your beliefs about yourself, the way it's supposed to look how it's supposed to be, and you'll see how that's playing out. Yeah. So I, it sounds to me that you're saying not, there's no one size fits all for this. And I think that's the realest answer. You know, like you said, I can tell you this or this, and it might work for some and not others. And so it sounds like you need to figure out what is going to work best for you and then seek that out.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Yeah. And it's a testing thing, right? I mean, you really do have to go through things. Like I have a mindfulness email that I send to everyone it's 52 weeks. And why, because it's literally 52 different ways to practice the same thing. Right. Mindfulness. Right. But the goal is, is that okay? You try it one week. Some people get bored with stuff really easy. Right now it's a new thing they could do every week. Right. But the goal is that at the end of it, it doesn't matter whether you picked up or found your thing, you just did it for an entire year, 52 different ways, but you did it. So at the end of the year, you still have the result, even though you didn't realize you were kind of doing that, you know, here I'll, I'll tell the audience one thing that they can do that works for everyone period.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
And it's only if you do it. So just remember you have to do it, actually do it. And it's something I do with all my clients. And it's called no negative and try it for a week. Try for a few days, it's really about awareness. And what I started them off doing is I literally have them take their phone, their stopwatch feature on their phone. When they wake up, they started the very first instance where they feel, say, or do something in the quote negative. They have to hit the stopwatch button, record the time, write down kind of what it is. They were doing, what it is, they're feeling what it is or how I was saying. So you wake up, you hit this, do you start the thing? Like, oh crap. I got to go to work. Gosh, 12 seconds, 12 seconds elapsed. All right.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
Oh crap. I have to go to work. All right. Start the button again. Okay. Brushing my teeth, got to pick out clothes. I got dressed. All right. Hit the button. Right. And, but that's it because you'll see, even by the end of the first day, people are shocked at how many, how many, but also how often and frequent things come because you live your life on autopilot all day. You don't realize that you're living sometimes in this hugely negative space. You think you're fine and you can't figure out why you're grumpy by the end of the day. Well, if you're telling yourself, oh, every five seconds, this isn't good. That's bad. Oh no. We've got to think about this. Yo of course, you're going to bring your vibration down. And your day is going to suck by the end of the day, every day. You know what I mean? It just is. So, so that's a technique I like to do. And that's only part of the technique, but that, that, that level of awareness, just as eye-opening most of the time. So that's a fun one to do. Oh, that's great. I'm going to try that. Oh gosh. Look, I'm already negative. No, no, no, no.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Yes. All my new Yorkers let's do it. We all know how we are. We think we're funny. We're really like sarcastic and negative. Yeah, exactly. Oh my gosh. Yeah. I'll try that tomorrow. And we'll see what happens. I will report back to you. So, so obviously we know mindset is something that can be altered. Can't be changed. It can be positive. It can be negative. So how does that affect our outcomes and in how we live our life every day? Yeah. So, so let me give you an example. I call it the kindergarten story because I think it's kind of common for a lot of us. So I want you to imagine that you're in kindergarten. If you're listening to this outside of the country, it's a one year about four or five years old. It's the first level of school you go to here in the United States.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
And we have this thing called Valentine's day. And at the kid level, we just, you know, get a bunch of candidates together, throw a bunch of cards and give one out to each member of the class. But sometimes there's that special Valentine. Right? So, so let's say little care. It's kindergarten. And she's all excited. Turned her mom made all the little Ballantine things she's handing out. But Joey, her best friend, well he's has the special Valentine. And she's going to ask him to be his, be her beer Valentine. Right? So Karen goes up to Joey, we made a special bone. That'd be, will you be my Valentine? Joey loves comedy. He says, oh my God, Kimmy just asked me. And she's super cute. I'm going to totally be here Valentine. Now little Karen's like, wow. Now little Karen's had picked up this message, but it wasn't said, but this is what you heard.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
You're ugly. You can't get the guy. Oh, and Kimmy with brown hair and purple eyes. She's that's that's that's the ultimate cuteness. Like that's that's it. Now she's four. She goes home cries. Mom, mom fixes it. Everybody has dinner next day. You're for you, Joey and Camy. By the way, you're all besties. You're hanging out. Like nothing happened. You, you feel like you don't feel it. It was a split-second. It was a moment it's gone. It's not really gone because let me tell you what happens now. She matriculates she's in middle school and Karen has to ask a boy to a dance. It's one of those Sadie Hawkins thing. So the girls have to ask the guys. And so her and her bestie and most people at this age have faced some kind of rejection, whether it's in the girlfriend, boyfriend, lover section or, or any other part, like not getting the baseball, you know, position, whatever it is.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
So we understand rejection. So we're fearing a little bit and we're nervous. So it's natural. Right. And everybody will tell you that. Oh yeah. It's natural. Don't worry. Just go ask anyway. So you and your Bessie, of course, it's Kimmy go. And you're like, okay, all right, we're going to ask our guys. So Kimmy goes first. Can we ask the boy? And he's like, yeah, sure. What out? Right. So Carrie was like, yeah, I'm going to ask Tony. She goes up to Tony. She asks him. Tony was like, man, I wish I could go. But I can't. Now what Karen doesn't know is that Tony is a son of the local preacher and he's not even allowed to go to school dances. Tony is secretly actually in love with her. But he has to say no anyway, but all Karen hears, not consciously, but subconsciously because she doesn't remember five years ago, she all she hears subconsciously is yo dumb.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
Don't you know, you're ugly. Why you try to do this? That making a fool of yourself. You know, you can't get the guy just stop. You are not pretty. You are not enough. You can't get him just up. Okay. Underlying, underlying thought the overlying crunch thought, oh man, I can't believe it. I'm so to the point and maybe he doesn't like me, right? Like, why is it so easy for Kimmy? Why isn't it the same for me? Like, it becomes that now you can't leave Karen out. Karen's like, all right, she's going to high school. She's like, you know what? I don't even care anymore. I'm bringing to the new high school, new me, everything. She goes out, she becomes a head cheerleader. Everybody loves her. She's popular. She's gorgeous. She's smart. She's funny. She's nice to everyone. And so she's, she's the girl, there goes Joey from kindergarten.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
He's the captain of the football team. And you guys are of course still talking. So Hey, what up? You start dating on the outside. It it's like the ultimate thing. Like, you know, you've made it right. You've arrived. Like this is it. Like, this is everything that everybody dreams of. Right? Prom, king prom queen. We're going to do it. You know, Joey's all happy. But Karen Karen's like, dude, Tom feels weird. Why doesn't it feel right when you think he's cheating on me? Like you think like, what's going on? Like, like I know we, we look so good together. It looks, it looks like it should be perfect. This is actually everything I ever wanted since kindergarten. But I dunno. I think, I think, I think he talks about, look at, look at him, smile. Look at him, smile at that girl that just walked by.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
Look at him, say hi to everybody. Right? She starts going, yo crazy lady. I take taken his phone, looking at his text messages. Eventually poor Joey. Now she's creating damage and Joey, but you always like, all right, forget it. I can't, I'm done. Right. And then Karen thinks, oh yeah. That's because you're right. Your cheater, you're doing something right. And she has to solidify in her mind. What's going on? So now Karen gets smart in college. She's a psych major. She's not going to play this game. She thinks she's good. She finds herself a man, they get married. They have kids. But again, something's not right. Like it feels wrong. Like it doesn't feel good. It's supposed to feel amazing. Right. But, and then she starts picking on things like, why can't you take the garbage out? Why can't you take it on time? Why can't you put it in the bin?
Speaker 1 (17:36):
Right. Right. And all this weird things has nothing to do with the garbage in the bin. And it has to do with this internal, emotional strife that she can't release because she's not quite sure why she doesn't feel right. But the truth is it's because she's too ugly to get the man, this man she doesn't deserve. It's not right. He couldn't possibly be there for the right reasons because she's not good enough like that. And it plays out in this way. That's why it's important. Because every day when you wake up and you have those negative thoughts and you enter these scenarios and things come crashing into your universe, it's usually in your head, that's created it at some point or is receiving it in some way. Right. And you're being reactive, like a five-year-old to it. And you don't even know you're doing it.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
So if you want to have a nice, happy, easy, joyful life and wake up bounding out of bed, like if a kid on Christmas, this is the head game you got to play with yourself. It takes work. Right? No. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I mean, you know, just like anything else, it does take, it takes consistent effort in, in getting it done. And actually to be honest, sometimes it doesn't sometimes just the awareness of the thing makes the thing go away. But you have to remember, you have been imprinted every second of every day, since before you were even born in utero with an impression and emotion, something okay. To date. So if your brain decided to take all those impressions and make a big deal out of them, well, you're going to be undoing a lot of stuff. And that's why it's layers. That's why it's kind of like, you know, when I'm working with CEOs that are, you know, in multimillion dollar companies, and now they're about to go into something and like close to a billion and they have all this stuff going on.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
Or, you know, I was just talking to an athlete who started a business and he was like, I should have been so much further. And you know, and you know, we broke it down that the work that he did to become an athlete, to become an MMA fighter is not the same level of work he's doing in his business. Right. He, he, he practiced every day. He, you know, ran, kicks every day. He had people watching him, critiquing him, helping him, mold him. He spends like three hours a day in his business, but he wants it to be a superstar rocket, you know? And it's like, well, you didn't get into the octagon and fight and win your first fight by, you know, being around for three months. You've been in this business three months. But you think you should be like a millionaire, like where is that coming from?
Speaker 1 (19:54):
Right. So it's, it's, it's all it's, it's it's in your head. Yes. I, I understand. I get it. I get it. I do. Now let's talk about, if you have something let's say in your life that is not going maybe the way we want it to, which let's be honest. I think that happens too. Can we say everyone at some point? Oh, of course. How can we leverage our mindset to change this so we can change our results? Okay. So I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm going to go a little woo on you here. So it's a combination of your thoughts and your energy, right? And so you know, just to, to focus on the mindset aspect of this, you can really dig into, you know, how would I deal? You have behaved, have responded, have done something. And how did you, you do it.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
What's kind of the difference. And how do you step into ideal you? How do you make decisions from that higher place? Right. just taking business, you know, let's say you're going to go into, I don't know, marketing and you have to pay marketing people. Well, you, you might say yeah, that's really expensive. I'm not doing that, but higher, you might say, Hey, actually I understand the long-term game. I'm willing to wait it out to six months. It'll probably take for me to recoup money back and let's go for it. Right. I would ask the right questions and it would know the right information and it would make the right decision. Right. So, I mean, when it comes to mindset and looking around your life and finding the things that you don't like, that's the start, but now what are you kind of leaning towards and what are you pushing away from?
Speaker 1 (21:41):
What have you settled for? Okay. Like notice that, because a lot of times in our lives, we settle for certain things. We want this ideal image, but then we're like, oh yeah, it's okay. You know? And so look at all these things because they all add up. I mean, there's a, there's a bunch of questions you can ask yourself, but I would really just start with, where are you, where did you want to be? Why did you want to be there? That's a big question. Okay. So, you know, think about all the people that go to college at, went to college and pick a major that had nothing to do with them. Right. you know, I wanted a big house in New Jersey when I first became a lawyer because I grew up and that's what everybody had. I didn't realize I don't even want to live in New Jersey.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
And I don't think Jesus, you know, I mean, like it, but because it was so familiar to me, I thought that's what I should be doing. And I wanted nothing to do with it. And so it caused every time I wanted to go look at property or do something, it always fell through, it always didn't happen. Well, it was the universe saying peace woman. Like, what are you doing? Just stop. But in the, my reality in that moment, it was frustrating. Like I tried so hard trying so hard and it's not working out. Right. And it was just like but you do get the signs. I mean, I think the biggest thing is, you know, again, with no negative, you start to look at your stressors too. You start to see the common themes of what you're saying to yourself, what you're hearing and really stop.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
You know, one of the, one of the, another thing that I love doing is when you're really in it in the moment. And when you're super about to be reactive, you know, about the Chuck that, that coffee across the room, just throw a big red stop sign in your head. It's called a pattern. Interrupt to stop, throw the sign in your head, just see it and just stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. And just stop. Because what you're doing is actually stopping that subconscious chatter. When you do that, and that's like an immediate thing that you can do that you don't have to deal with everything that's going on around you, because sometimes you can't because it's so in your face. But as long as you stop, as long as you stop that thought pattern, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
Right. That actually just practicing that alone starts to stop the mental pattern that you have going on. All you have is a mental pattern, a little talk pattern, a little, you know, little repeat on loop, right? That's what you're stopping that alone can elevate you like everybody listening to this, you know, if you think of your life right now on a scale of one to 10, 10 million, like, oh, yo upper rockstar, one being like, dude, am I still alive? Like, how am I even still here? Didn't I like do something last week. That caused me to not be here because it's so miserable, right? Like that level. Okay. So on a, on an overall one to 10 rate yourself, then do no negative and stop just the pattern. Interrupt. Stop yourself every time. You're when the, when the bar reset. Isn't fast enough. Stop. Stop, stop, stop.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
Stop. When the dog just, you know, somebody else's dog ran across your foot. Stop, stop, stop, stop. Stop. When a door closes on your dress, your skirt, and you're about to get stop. Stop, stop, stop, stop. Just stop. You don't even have to think any further, just stop that's at the top. Move on, do it for a week. Now again, one to 10, how do you feel rate yourself? Your number is going to go up and then your brain is going to start with this. Oh, but nothing changed. Why do I feel? But, and then you're gonna question it don't it just is. And it's actually just that easy. So excellent. That's a great exercise and very, very easy. Anyone can do that. It takes nothing. You just have to stay, say stop. Yep. And those, when that those thoughts start rushing in and we all have them every single day.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
Yes, we all have them. I think that's great. So now, as we start to wrap things up, what do you want the audience to take away from our conversation around mindset? Well, I mean really just the basics. I mean, the fact that it is important, you have to pay attention to it. The reason you're here, wherever that is in your life is because you didn't, maybe you didn't know, maybe you didn't care to, maybe it wasn't as bad yet, but if, if you're still trying to get to that next level, then you have to pay attention to what you're saying yourself at this level. And I don't care what level you're going to or where you're coming from. That's just it, you know, where they're coming from, coming off the streets to your next level, or you're coming from your, your $50 million company and you want to make it a hundred million.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
It's the same thing. You have to hear what you're saying, because it's dictating your reality period. And so it's really important. And that there's a lot of resources out there. I mean, I can give you some resources as well, but you know, there's tons of stuff out there and it really is simple. It's just, it's, it's simple and taking action and everything changes and it can change in minutes. Yeah. It's the taking action part. That's the hard part, right? Everybody can read. You can understand the action that has to happen. Let me tell you, let me just really quickly tell you that that's my too. So you have to live into the being. So let me just give you an example. So I was very athletic when I was younger. You know, I didn't work out at all. When I had my child, my child is now 12.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
At the time that I had to do this to myself, she was 11. And I was like, oh, I'll kind of get into that place where you still look good with clothes on, but not so much when you take them off. So I was like, maybe I should work out. And I thought, oh, this is second nature. I'll just go work out. I live on central park here. So I'll just now. And I did everything. The micro habit, the be dressed in your sleep thing, the sneaker girl, if I tell you that at some point I felt proud that I got out the front door and want a cup of coffee to come back. And that was my workout. And I had to do my own techniques myself, which is what is it? I believe like what happened? I obviously no longer believe I'm an athlete because if I did, I mean, this is easy.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
Right? And that's what I thought I believed consciously. Well, when I dug down to it over the past, you know, 10 or so years, my friends had been getting a little snappy with me saying things like, oh, you eat like an a-hole, you still look good and I didn't work out. So then they knew that like, how do you not work out? And, and we work out 10 hours a day and what's going on. And there was part of that, that seeped into me that was like, oh, that's right, girl, eat whatever you want. Look good. You don't, you don't need that. Right. And well, it worked for 10 years, but obviously I needed to change. And the second I realized that I was letting those things come in, that it was easier to hang out in bed that I always had tomorrow that, and I changed that core belief.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
And I, and I really had to dig down into why, like, I want to be the grandma who like flies through the trees on zip lines with her grandkids. I can't do that in 10 years. If I don't exercise now. Right. I had a drill into my head. Oh my God, I love running by the way. Don't really, but I love running. I love running. I love running the second I did all that stuff. Right. And it actually took overnight. That's all I did. I did it one day. I wrote down the thing. I said it to myself again and again. I said it to myself in the mirror and I was like, yo, you, you have this, like, what's wrong when you have this right now woke up the next morning. I actually ran a whole mile. Now it doesn't sound like much, but 10 years sitting on my.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
Pretty good. That's great. Yeah. That's nice. So it's really convincing yourself that you are the person who does the thing. If you are the person who loves to do all this weird, you know, personal development stuff, and you'd love to say stopped yourself and you've loved it. Guess what you're going to do. You're going to do it. That's it? It's that simple. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God. That's such a good example. Thank you for that. Now, speaking of resources, where can people find you, your podcast? Talk about the podcast, your resources, everything else. Yeah. Awesome. I mean, you guys can go to just my name.com. So it's Kiersten franklin.com. And I don't know if you're able to put that in the description. And then the podcast is just girl on fire. So if you want to just Google girl on fire, it's unbelief B L E V network.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
You can find it anywhere, apple, iTunes, all that good stuff. Yeah, that's it. Yep. And D and we will have links to everything, to all of her information at podcast dot healthy, wealthy, smart.com and the show notes under this episode. And we'll have your on social media. Do you want to give a shout out to your social media handles really quick? So someone can find you really easily. That would require me to know what they are. Well, it's all on your website. Yeah, we got it. We got it. No problem. We will have, I will put them all in the show notes individually. We're good. Don't worry about it. Now, the last question I always ask everyone is knowing where you are in your life and in your career, what advice would you give to your younger self?
Speaker 1 (30:29):
I would tell myself that none of it is a big deal. It's not as big a deal as you think it is, you know, all that lost time on stressing out and trying to make things happen and living by force, as opposed to living as a conduit where everything's flowing through you. Massive difference. My whole life has been lived by force winning, winning, winning, getting by force. I probably could've gotten the same exact stuff, Ben, the same that, and just nice and easy, you know, massive difference in life. Let me tell you. Yeah, I was relaxed. I love it. And I've heard that several times from people guests on this podcast. So there's clearly something to that. So for all of you, new new grads out there, college kids listening, relax. And I love, can you say that again? You want to be sort of a conduit versus a forest.
Speaker 1 (31:25):
Can you repeat that one more time? I mean, I, you know, listen, there's two ways to manifest, right? There's the manifestor force, right? Like, like you're going to get it. You're going to get it. You're gonna do everything class. We're going to fight, fight, fight. It's by force and you're gonna get it versus actually when you open up and you let the universe and all of his power flow through you, you're going to get the same things only. It's nice and easy, right? When, when something doesn't happen or someone candles or it moves when you know that it's okay, that it's all just going to be fine. It's your life flows through you. You are a conduit. I it's true about finances, about love, about anything, right? If you, if you're having financial difficulties, right. And this is going to sound crazy, I know it's gonna be painful for some, but if you open up and you just let it flow through you, all of a sudden you're going to just have more and more and more money, right.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
Because it's not about you getting money. You're the conduit. So the university saying, all right, I'll throw money at you because you're giving it here. You're helping people there. You're doing this. Right. And it just, just like, love like energy. It's just things you're, you're, you're a vessel it's supposed to come through the gifts that God gave. You are not for you. They're supposed to float through you so you can help others. If that makes sense. Yes. It, and thank you for that. I love it. So Kiersten, thank you so much for coming on the podcast and spending the time with us today. I really appreciate it. Absolutely. Thank you so much for having me. It's so fun. I always love seeing you. Yeah, my pleasure, my pleasure, and everyone tell the listeners out there. Thank you so much for listening. Have a great couple of days and stay healthy, wealthy and smart.